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Random Funny Moments from the Tables

24 October 2014, By: compncards
Mike Matusow 200x300
Mike Matusow 200x300

Not really feeling up to commenting on the latest poker gossip. Instead, I'll share some random funny tidbit from my live poker experiences. Yes, every one of these happened.

Obnoxious player: "Do you know how much money I have won in poker?"

Middle-aged guy: "Not enough if you're still playing with us." (The game was $2-$4 Limit Hold'em)


(Someone gets called for the $20-$40 stud game. We're in the $2-$4 Omaha Hi-Lo game)

Guy: Well, that's me. Cya later.

Old guy to my right: If you can play $20-$40 stud, then why the hell were you playing with us?

Guy: I have to warm up to playing with crochety old people and this seemed the best game.

(Half the table nodded in agreement)


Me: "I saw Men roaming around here earlier."

Some guy in middle position: "Men who? I know you don't mean Men the Master. This event is too small for him to play. ($320 Circuit ring event)

A few minutes later, Men "The Master" Nguyen sits at our table.

Me: "Hey Men, this guy didn't believe you were here this week.

Men: "I'll make him believe."


This guy in the eight seat had taken three straight river beats in $3-$6 Omaha Hi-Lo at the Bike in Los Angeles. After the fourth straight beat, he stands up, points to this Asian lady dealer and says, "Dealer, I'm going to meet you outside."

About three men at this table start to stand from their seats with a look of "I'm going to kick your ass to defend to woman" look.

The dealer holds up her hand and says, "It's ok. He gonna give me a ride home."

Everyone, including the pissed off guy, bursts out into laughter.


One of my favorite stories is from the very first day I played casino poker. I was playing satellites at the WSOP Circuit stop in Tunica at the now defunct Grand Casino Tunica (Harrah's Tunica when they closed) and was frequently not paying attention to posting my big blind. The conversation went as follows:

(First time not paying attention)

Dealer: Sir, you're big.

I post my blind.

(Second time)

Dealer: Sir, you're big.

I post my blind.

(Third time)

Dealer: Sir, you're big.

Lady from middle of the table: "Young lady, I find it extremely rude that you keep commenting on that nice young man's size.

Everyone at the table, including me, looks at her like she's insance.

A person to her left leans over and says, "She's telling him that he's the BIG BLIND."

Lady: "Ohhh my word. I'm so sorry." (She was genuinely embarrased.)

Table erupts in laughter.

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